anxiety and hosting events

[brainwane]

I could use some tips on how to be a better event host when some participants are acting unusually anxious.

Sometimes, when I am hosting an event, there are new participants who demonstrate a level of anxiousness above and beyond standard jitters. Like, it's very common for a first-timer to not initiate conversation and to not move around physically to mingle, to double-check whether it's OK to sit down in a particular chair, and to be unsure of what topics it's ok to talk about.

But I'm talking about stuff like:

• about every 3rd thing they say is laced with self-deprecation
• they respond with uncertainty and "is it ok?" double-checks to pretty standard offers (e.g. a snack from a pile of snacks on a table in front of them)
• their worries take over the ordinary give-and-take of conversation, because when other people mention things they like or new ideas, the anxious person's responses usually include some worry about the thing (not framed as curiosity)

Tips?

Comments

[altamira16]

I think that in the now there may be some uncertainty about others for various reasons. I think you can alleviate your second bullet point by pre-empting it and saying, "Feel free to have a snack. Sit where ever you like. Just because I am wearing a mask does not mean that I expect everyone to wear a mask."

There is a lot of feeling others out on a lot of things. We had a disability inclusion talk at my company, and this lady who came to give the talk said she was talking to the leader of some org a year or two earlier while wearing a mask. That other leader tucked her hair behind her ear, and that showed that she was wearing a hearing aid so the person with the mask asked "Would you like me to take my mask off so you can see my lips?" (Once she noticed the hearing aid, she wanted to be inclusive of the person who might need to lip read.)