anxiety and hosting events

[brainwane]

I could use some tips on how to be a better event host when some participants are acting unusually anxious.

Sometimes, when I am hosting an event, there are new participants who demonstrate a level of anxiousness above and beyond standard jitters. Like, it's very common for a first-timer to not initiate conversation and to not move around physically to mingle, to double-check whether it's OK to sit down in a particular chair, and to be unsure of what topics it's ok to talk about.

But I'm talking about stuff like:

• about every 3rd thing they say is laced with self-deprecation
• they respond with uncertainty and "is it ok?" double-checks to pretty standard offers (e.g. a snack from a pile of snacks on a table in front of them)
• their worries take over the ordinary give-and-take of conversation, because when other people mention things they like or new ideas, the anxious person's responses usually include some worry about the thing (not framed as curiosity)

Tips?

Comments

initial musings

[brainwane]

I am a COVID-cautious host, so generally these meetings are outdoors, and at least some participants wear masks. Depending on current transmission levels, I sometimes wear a mask for outdoor events. For an indoor event that will include strangers, I wear a mask, including while hosting.

I would not be surprised if I am temperamentally less suited than the median person to be a good host for a stranger exhibiting this kind of anxiety, specifically the kind in which the person's worries and insecurities come out as incurious negative assumptions that I then feel an urge to painstakingly correct. So one thing I'm going to look into is getting cohosts for meetups, especially cohosts who are better at being chill.