being denied things

[brainwane]

Anger is a response to perceived unfairness, such as the denial of things one deserves, is entitled to.

I have a hard time working out what I believe I deserve -- it turns out that I can figure it out a bit by listening to what makes me angry. Stuff like:

The prospect of being denied my dignity, privacy, and liberty when crossing a border.

The prospect of being denied medicines necessary to my health because of insurance nonsense -- despite holding a prescription and ready money to pay for them.

The prospect of being denied love, kindness, intimacy, privacy, by corporate and government surveillance of my relationships.

That sort of thing.

Sometimes I can't tell why I'm angry.... I'm gonna try to listen to myself and ask: is there something that I'm not getting that I believe I deserve?

And if I can't tell why I'm sad, I'm gonna try to ask myself: is there something I want, yet believe I have no chance of getting?

Comments

[watersword]

That's a really useful paradigm to consider, thank you.

[brainwane]

You are very welcome.

[ivy]

My current reading is "Good and Mad: The Revolutionary Power of Women's Anger". There are many related bits in there; you might also find it interesting. I appreciated the historical notes of pissed off women in similar positions of effecting political change through outrage almost more than the current descriptions of women angry about basically the same things I'm angry about.

[brainwane]

Thanks - you are not the first person I have seen recommending that! I will consider reading it!

[altamira16]

I have so much anger and sad lately.

[brainwane]

My condolences and sympathies.

May I unscreen this?

[altamira16]

Yes, you may unscreen that.

[hlagol]

This is a useful connection you've illuminated. I'm going to give a try to thinking more actively about the root of my flashes of anger and sadness.

[brainwane]

I am glad it is useful to you and I wish you the best. In case you didn't already know, I learned that first insight about anger basically from the Paul Ekman research on emotions, via Inside Out and conversation about it.

[hlagol]

I didn't! But thanks for the info, I've googled and bookmarks some interesting looking articles.