thanksgiving, 2014

Nov. 27th, 2014 09:34 am
metaphortunate: (Default)
[personal profile] metaphortunate
Ah, parenting small children on this particular Thanksgiving morning. Lazing about in bed, cuddling, being a wrestling referee ("NO BITING!") explaining that people want to shut down the Thanksgiving parade because the police keep killing black guys, explaining that their parents are sad and what death means. Relaxing!

And Rocket is cutting FOUR molars, poor little thing. No wonder he's been so fussy and demanding. I keep trying to tell myself that there will come a day when no one wants any of my time, and I probably won't be happy about that either, so I should try to enjoy this while I got it. True, I don't really want two or three decades of that, but could I have like a weekend of it right now, though?

The Junebug verbally asked me for a hug the other night, for the first time ever, though. It was wonderful, although also pretty funny, because I think the cunning little bugger played me. We were out getting burgers for dinner, and he went to grab my arm with his greasy little hands, and I said "DON'T touch my sweater with your greasy hands, you know the rule!" And he said "Mama, can I have a hug?" And I knew this was manipulation and you know what, it didn't matter. When they offer you the bait you want just that much, you see the hook and you take it anyway. Because it's worth it. Didn't even hesitate; hugged the crap out of him and he hugged me right back and I'm pretty sure I got grease and ketchup all over my sweater and in my hair and I didn't even care.

To be fair, it's not that he doesn't ask for cuddles. It's that the way he does it is, he says "I'm the lobster and you are the shark that ate me." - or the lion that ate him, or whatever. This means he will curl up on my lap in a little ball and I will wrap my arms around him and tell him that he's in my tummy and he was delicious. This is because no matter how Freudian my life gets, parenting is one long streak of the universe telling me it's just not Freudian enough yet.

Got to see some friends last weekend that I don't get to see nearly often enough, which was wonderful. Why is distance? :(

Rocket got his first haircut and I held him on my lap and he did not even cry once. He's a hero!

(no subject)

Nov. 27th, 2014 09:48 am
copperbadge: (Default)
[personal profile] copperbadge
I know I haven't been around much this month; I seem to only show up to do RFM and post fanfic, and sadly this post is no exception. I'm going to try to do better in December, though! This is my THANKSGIVING RESOLUTION.

Anyway in the meantime have some fic. :D

Title: Steve Rogers Vs. The All-American Feast
Rating: G
Summary: Steve can't resist a challenge, even when the challenge is a five pound pulled-pork sandwich.
Warnings: This story involves several eating competitions and contains some potentially dysfunctional attitudes towards food; people with food-related triggers or issues may wish to skip this one. There is also fairly frequent discussion of puke (no actual puking) so emetophobics should beware.

Here at Dreamwidth | Here at AO3

what a day

Nov. 26th, 2014 09:26 pm
inlovewithnight: (Default)
[personal profile] inlovewithnight
Today I worked 8:30-12 from home, then went and had a root canal. The dentist was really nice, and REALLY good with dental anxiety/trauma; this is the first dental appointment I can remember in my life where I didn't cry at all.

(I cried later, when I got home and started doing finances while groggy and xanaxy post-nap, so I forgot that APR stands for ANNUAL percentage rate, and I had been calculating my credit card interest at 12.99%/month. Annual is better.)

I'm hopelessly behind on all of my holiday exchange fics, I completely bombed my second interview with a job I actually was excited about, I'm sad about Mikey Way. But. Fall Out Boy is releasing the most ridiculous song in the entire world, American Beauty/American Psycho, which is mid-90s-pop-punk-polka and makes absolutely zero sense. I imagine Pete Wentz wakes up in the morning, looks at himself in the mirror, and says "Today I am going to be SO MYSELF that nobody even knows what to do with it." Then he makes finger-guns at himself, does the baby wolf face, and puts on silky underpants.

Thanks for being there when I need you, Wentz.

Wednesday, November 26th

Nov. 26th, 2014 05:20 pm
alexandraerin: (Default)
[personal profile] alexandraerin
The Daily Report/The State of the Me

Well, I've been trying to get back into the swing of things here, but I've needed to nap during the day both yesterday and today the point that I haven't done much writing. With the holiday weekend coming up, I'm just going to declare it a wash and resume Tales of MU on Monday.

Thank you for your patience and support.

Breadcrumbs, by Anne Ursu

Nov. 26th, 2014 11:09 am
rachelmanija: (Books: old)
[personal profile] rachelmanija
An odd, beautifully written re-telling of "The Snow Queen" as a children's book.

Hazel is a little girl who's peculiar and alienated in the way that a lot of people who grow up to be writers were: engrossed in unpopular books and interests, pre-emptively disdaining most people her age so she won't be as hurt when they reject her. She was adopted from India by a white family, and is not only the only Indian girl in her school, but knows nearly nothing about India; this isn't a huge part of the story, but certainly adds to her feeling of being different.

Her one friend is Jack, a boy whose father is gone and mother is depressed. Everyone tells them they shouldn't be friends, because boys and girls aren't at that age (eleven) and because Hazel is weird. Then one day, Jack suddenly dumps Hazel and starts hanging out with the popular boys. Everyone tells Hazel that this is natural and she needs to find girl friends. Her mother warns her that you can't make someone love you again when they've stopped; she knows because Hazel's father left her. And then Jack disappears - moved away, supposedly.

But Hazel is certain that Jack didn't just naturally stop loving her. She thinks he was enchanted and kidnapped by the Snow Queen. So Hazel follows the rules of fairy-tales... and finds herself in a creepy fairyland, questing to bring back her best friend.

This a well-written, melancholy book with striking images and a strange subtext. Though the fairyland is real, and Jack's enchantment is real, everyone in the real world but Hazel believes that the enchantment is a metaphor. They tell her that childhood friendships often break up naturally, that people often fall out of love, and that no amount of wanting and persistence can make someone love you when they don't. This creates an odd tension to Hazel's quest: is it real? Even if fairyland is real, is the enchantment really imposed from outside, or just the externalization of the truth that Jack no longer loves her. If he really doesn't love her, is it heroic or self-destructive and stalkery for her to keep trying to get him back?

Then again, he really did disappear. And the Snow Queen really does have him. There is no metaphor supplied for that scenario: that is reality. But it's a reality that sits oddly with the "he really doesn't love you" metaphor.

This is a book where I really did wonder what the author's intent was. Were readers meant to take the "You can't make anyone love you" admonitions as the truth, and believe that while she saves Jack's life, he will never love her again? Or were those statements merely obstacles Hazel faces, and she really did see through them to the truth that he did love her, that his enchantment was metaphoric for depression and peer pressure, and that if she kept standing by him, eventually he'd remember that he cared for her all along? I may be taking all sorts of unintended subtext from this book, but it's very metafictional to begin with.

Hazel's quest is like an illusion-picture that flashes back and forth between being a young woman and an old woman every time you blink. Heroic affirmation of persistence and friendship. Blink. Unsettling story of an emotionally immature girl desperately pursuing a boy who naturally grew apart from her.

Breadcrumbs
alias_sqbr: (dagna)
[personal profile] alias_sqbr
It's not a real Bioware game unless you end up staring at your screen in horror thinking "What have I done?".

I try to go with the decision I feel in my gut that I'll regret least, balancing being in character, interesting plot, not feeling gross (eg I am ALWAYS anti slavery, even if it makes sense in the universe, unless I KNOW that choice is actually worse for the slave(*)), and gameplay advantage. And I have tried REALLY HARD not to go back to previous saves and change my mind unless I genuinely misunderstood what the question was asking, reminding myself that a character who screws up and is left traumatised is an interesting character.

Marijn Cadash is turning out to be more and more interesting.

SPOILERS )

(*)Yes the fact that I have had to make this choice multiple times does say something unfortunate about Bioware's writing decisions. See also: all the times I had to decide whether or not to commit genocide, and all the mercy killings of disabled people. Sigh.

links

Nov. 25th, 2014 09:44 pm
inlovewithnight: (Default)
[personal profile] inlovewithnight
More assorted web reading.

Science And Art Meet, Unveiling Mystery And Cultural Tragedy Chemical analyses of paint in old masterpieces, and why we'll lose a lot of them as the chemicals break down.

Here's Why The Check Engine Light Is A Horrible, Terrible Thing Well, yes.

Shady XLII: Eminem in 2014 Really good look at what's left when you've aged out of the "your rage embodies the anger of the young" demographic. And you're Eminem.

Why People Keep Trying to Erase The Hollywood Sign from Google Maps. Turns out that if you live next to a tourist landmark, your neighborhood will get tourists. Some people don't like that.

the only way out is through Mikey my love laying out what most of us had already figured out. Proud of him.

The orange cat...

Nov. 25th, 2014 03:19 pm
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
...always knows when you're wearing black.

Read more... )

(no subject)

Nov. 25th, 2014 07:54 pm
maevele: (lamberdroogie)
[personal profile] maevele
so I am doing the rocky again this friday! as columbia once more, but I have agreed to try being frank next time. ack. and at rehearsal, we were discussing doing the show at geek kon this next year, which might be awesome. But I didn't know when geekkon is, so I went to look it up, and found out who they have recently named as one of their GoH. I'm not saying their name, but um, yeah. I don't know what to think
alexandraerin: (Default)
[personal profile] alexandraerin
Out of respect for the heartfelt grief and mourning of a community denied justice, I will not be blogging today.
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
Mondays, every week, let's celebrate ourselves, to start the week right. Tell me what you're proud of. Tell me what you accomplished last week, something -- at least one thing -- that you can turn around and point at and say: I did this. Me. It was tough, but I did it, and I did it well, and I am proud of it, and it makes me feel good to see what I accomplished. Could be anything -- something you made, something you did, something you got through. Just take a minute and celebrate yourself. Either here, or in your journal, but somewhere.

(And if you feel uncomfortable doing this in public, I've set this entry to screen any anonymous comments, so if you want privacy, comment anonymously and I won't unscreen it. Also: yes, by all means, cheer each other on when you see something you want to give props to!)

white sons

Nov. 25th, 2014 06:39 am
metaphortunate: (Default)
[personal profile] metaphortunate
I wrote this whole long post about what I am committing to doing, and saying, in my effort to not raise another Darren Wilson or George Zimmerman. About how I don't even know where to start with some of it, and, though it sounds obscene to say so when friends last night were having much harder and scarier conversations, still the thought of setting out to make changes to our lives seems scary and hard.

Then I saved it and did not post it. Instead, last night Mr. E and I talked about what we should do. I think maybe as non-Black people this is a good time for us to have awkward, difficult conversations about race in our own families rather than in social media.
jjhunter: Silhouetted watercolor tree against deep sky-strewn sky (poetree starlight)
[personal profile] jjhunter
Indiegogo: Ferguson Defense Fund
Ferguson protestors need money for jail, bail & life[.] The Ferguson Legal Defense Fund will help

Via [personal profile] rushthatspeaks, the Ferguson National Response Network ([tumblr.com profile] fergusonresponse)
Boston area: Police B2 Headquarters, 2400 Washington St., Roxbury, Tuesday, November 25th, 7 PM. The internet indicates that the best way to do this is the P4 or P5 Silver Line to Dudley Square.

Black. Lives. Matter.

[personal profile] thingswithwings: Watsons, Hudsons, and Invisible Labour
When the labour of Watsons - and Lestrades and Gregsons, and original characters like Bell and Alfredo and Snowplow Driver Pam - is shown to be of value, it speaks against the Holmes adaptations that assumed that Holmeses are the only people worth valuing.

Katie Johnston @ Boston Globe: ‘Area Four’ residents in Cambridge live in shadow of the future
As global pharmaceutical companies build new labs, Internet giants Google and Twitter expand, and startups snap up office space at ever-higher rents, families living in the shadow of the innovation economy are flocking to the local food pantry at three times the rate of a decade ago.

(no subject)

Nov. 25th, 2014 08:04 am
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
I am deeply upset (but not at all surprised) by the grand jury in Ferguson declining to indict Darren Wilson for shooting Mike Brown. (Everything I read about how the grand jury was convened and how the evidence was presented makes it absolutely crystal clear the prosecutor did not want the indictment. Which, again: heartbreaking, but not at all surprising.) I'm more upset by the fact that county prosecutor Robert McCulloch made the announcement at 9PM -- that was such a bone-headed move that even before I saw the announcement there was absolutely no doubt in my mind the timing was deliberate to provoke the very response that happened last night as protests erupted into violent confrontation. You don't announce news like that at 9PM unless you want an explosion -- every conflict gets escalated after dark -- and it's yet-a-fucking-nother example of how badly the whole thing was handled from the beginning.

I'm posting, however, to let people know about the Ferguson National Response Network, which has a coordinated list of protests being planned across the country, mostly for today. I don't know if I'm going to be physically capable of attending Baltimore's tonight, but there are planned protests in loads of locations and judging by my reading list I know a lot of you are just as upset as I am.

(And if you're looking for something you can give to people in your life who don't get it, I thought this article by Janee Woods, 12 Ways to Be a White Ally to Black People, was a really good attempt at being concise and clear about a very complicated subject.)

I am really okay, folks.

Nov. 24th, 2014 04:32 pm
alexandraerin: (Default)
[personal profile] alexandraerin
Okay, so, more than one person--most of them family or close to it--has expressed concern over my earlier status post. I think the vagueness of it made things sound more dire than they actually are.

Folks, I'm not being vague because it was too unspeakable to speak of. I'm being vague because there are literally thousands of people who will see whatever I post here, and most of them aren't family. While I sometimes feel like being very candid about my own health and status, other people--even my immediate family members--are other people, and it's not my place to tell strangers on the internet what's going on in other people's lives.

One of the purposes of my status posts is to give me a place to take a dispassionate inventory of how I'm feeling and what I'm going through, so I can incorporate that into my plans. Recognizing that I just came through a situation that I expected to be fairly demanding but that unexpectedly became more demanding is not a lament or complaint or declaration of any kind, it's an assessment.

There was a high-pressure situation. It was handled, we got through it, but now like many things that have been placed under pressure, I must decompress gradually. This isn't melodrama, it's the final stage of crisis management.

I am sorry if I scared anyone, but I'm even more sorry if I gave anyone the impression that I went through something that was more than I could deal with or that I regret being there, because I didn't and I don't. While I'm only talking about it in terms of how it impacts my work (because that's what my status posts are about), I'm not actually the one who had a bad day on Saturday. And my wish/hope/fervent prayer is that it never happens again, not that I'm not there if it does. The one thing I am glad of in the whole thing is that I was there.

To stave off another clarification later: I'm not angry or even stressed out at the moment. I just don't want people worrying about me.

I am okay. I'm not mad. I am okay.

Thank you.

Class, camo, and corpulence

Nov. 24th, 2014 01:44 pm
wired: Picture of me smiling (Default)
[personal profile] wired
I needed winter boots. No, real winter boots, rated to at least -25F which means at least 400 grams of insulation. My commute is 90 minutes in bad weather, not counting the increased possibility of me having to walk out of a bad situation, like a did a couple times last year while winter bike commuting.

45NRTH's bike-specific WOLVHAMMER winter boots have 200 grams. And are designed for men.

REI suggested Merrell's Polarand 8: 200-400 grams, designed for men.

So I was a little frustrated. Like many women, I have a narrower heel, and although I can wear men's shoes because my feet are big enough, heel slip when you are biking is a pain.

Then Laura pointed out I should look at hunting boots. Which I hadn't thought of, because, let me clear, even though I was raised in hunting country, with hunting classmates, my class issues prevented me from thinking of it as a solution. There are at least a dozen women's-designed hunting boots that run from 400 to 2000 grams of insulation. I got the Ladyhawk boots from Red Wing. Because you know who needs high-performance, low-temperature, walk-all-day boots? Hunters. Snowmobilers.

You know who can get away with 200 grams of insulation in their boots because they are never facing being out in the cold for days if something goes wrong? Rich people from SeattleI. I mean, not 100%, but I feel like there is a significant difference in use between "ski trip" and "hunting trip".

And the weird thing about class is that it's not like hunting is cheap. Guns are expensive, ammunition is currently ruinously expensive. You can't really fit a dear carcass on top of a Prius, so it changes your transportation needs. It costs money to get your deer processed. You need boots, outdoor gear, jackets, scent blocker. You may use deer licks, deer stands, etc. * But wearing camo and carhartt, that's... redneck, that's rural, that's white-trashy.

So, anyway, those Red Wing boots I wanted, they sell them at Gander Mountain, which I had never been into. IT WAS A REVELATION.

I am women's size 18-20, which puts me right at the bleeding edge of "straight sizes" (which is to say, not plus size). I spend a lot of time looking at women's bike clothes and outdoor gear and thinking "extra large in what universe?". For example, this Pearl Izumi base layer is $75 and the XL sizing is 40-42 inch chest. THAT'S MY WAIST. My chest is 49 right now. So I reluctantly slouch off to men's where the XXL will just barely fit me. Except not really, because I'm not shaped like a man. By comparison, let's go look at a technical base layer at Gander Mountain. What's that? You sell it in 3x, which is a 52 inch bust? Oh, and this one is $30? Rain pants in 3X? Ok, then.

So why the difference? Why doesn't REI want my considerable investment in outdoor gear? I think it is about who has an acceptable body. Just like Lulu Lemon doesn't sell yoga pants over size 6, REI does not care about women outside a narrow band of acceptable body size exercising. And that's possible for them because it's really radical to be big, to be fat, to be a woman, and to exercise. I can tell, because almost all the harassment I get on my bike has to do with the fact that I'm a fat bitch (I love the un-gendered nature of winter gear so much). The fatter you are, the more people feel entitled to yell at you to leave the public arena. Because you are not acceptable, you are not high-class enough to be skinny and exercising for the sake of exercising and getting rewarded for doing it publicly. I am only a couple sizes bigger than an average american woman, and that is largely because I have the height and build of the average american man. I am not that different than MOST WOMEN. And yet, I don't deserve exercise gear because no one wants to see "a fat bitch" exercising in public.

By the way, the last man who yelled that at me? Outweighed me by at least 75 pounds. But because I am female, I am societally obligated to be decorative at all times, to all passersby.

Which brings me back to hunting gear. it's not about performative exercise, or indeed, exercise in public. It is an activity that people mostly do with intimates -- family or close friends. It is very much about tradition and family, and not about what random strangers think. And making all hunting gear camp is not just about making you hard to see in the woods, but also about an in-group marking that says "I am wearing gear that I bought to do something specific". It's not any different than bike herds and Chrome bags or embroidery nerds and thread-cutting necklaces. I think that's why I feel uncomfortable in camo, because I am flagging inaccurately.

It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for not getting frostbite in my toes!

*I'm using deer hunting as the example here, because big game hunting is a different thing, class-wise.

Monday, November 24th

Nov. 24th, 2014 10:30 am
alexandraerin: (Default)
[personal profile] alexandraerin
The Daily Report

So, last week ended up being a more high-pressure/high-demand situation than anyone had expected going into it, plus the netbook I have been traveling with all but stopped working, which just added to the stress. Everything kind of came to a head Saturday. Without getting into details, I'll just say that it's going to take some decompressing before I get back into the swing of things.

My plan right now is to resume Tales of MU on Wednedsay, updating it Wednesday and Friday. Next week it'll be Tuesday and Thursday, and then I'll decide whether to stick with Tuesday and Thursday through the holidays (likely), or go back to every other week day.

The State of the Me

Got home really late last night, but slept really well. Today I am dealing with muscle soreness in my legs from a greater than usual level of exertion on Saturday, but otherwise feeling fine.

Plans For Today

Get used to being home again, process, decompress.

(no subject)

Nov. 24th, 2014 08:48 am
copperbadge: (radiofreemondaaay)
[personal profile] copperbadge
Good morning everyone, and welcome to Radio Free Monday!

Ways To Give:

[livejournal.com profile] joiedumonde is doing geneaology and other freelance work to earn cash during a stretch of unemployment. She's offering geneaology aid and advice, from building a family tree to finding historical background on immigrant ancestors, for fair cost; you can read more about her work and how to get in touch with her here.

[livejournal.com profile] nancylebov linked to the facebook page for Candy Madigan, whose husband John was mentioned a few weeks ago in a fundraiser for his hospice care (which is still going on). Those who would like updates on his condition can read more here.

Starlady linked to two science fundraisers: one for research into climate change in the Falkland islands, a penguin habitat and biodiversity hot spot, and one to help fund the distribution of blight-resistant American Chestnut trees to their native habitat to replace the four billion wiped out in a blight during the 20th century.

Wincon is a "by fans, for fans" multi-fandom con focused on providing safe fannish space for women, people of color, queer people, and other under-represented fans in popular media. They're entering their tenth year and due to demand are growing from 100 attendees to 250-300 this year. To ensure the success of this year's con and the sustainability of the larger attendance cap, they're running an indiegogo campaign with con registration, art commissions, fan crafts, and more as perks. You can read more and support the con here, check out website here, or have a look at their tumblr here.

Help For Free:

Anon linked to [tumblr.com profile] chroniclebooks, who have a holiday pledge going to donate a book to a child for every reblog of this tumblr post. You can also participate on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter; more information about how is at their website and links page here.

Just For Fun:

[tumblr.com profile] theactualcluegirl is a member of the band Murder Ballads, who just put out a great album of folk and filk called Pretty in Scarlet. You can have a listen at their bandcamp website. I'm particularly fond of "The Ballad Of Captain America's Disapproving Face".

While doing research for a fanfic this week I stumbled on the FoodChallenges website, which is a geographic list of all the strange and excessive "food challenges" that local restaurants offer. Find out where you can challenge yourself to eat a two pound hot dog or split an eight pound pizza with a friend. Discover fame and glory through gluttony, or just read in horrified fascination about the Ten Pound Meatball Sandwich Challenge.

And this has been Radio Free Monday! Thank you for your time. You can post items for my attention at the Radio Free Monday submissions form or via email at copperbadge at gmail dot com. If you're not sure how to proceed, here is a little more about what I do and how you can help (or ask for help!).

personal update in point form

Nov. 24th, 2014 03:37 am
maevele: (singingfrank)
[personal profile] maevele
1: still living in someone's basement.
2: haven't killed myself, but three+ close calls in six weeks means I need to fix my head.
3: best friend is about to be legit homeless, can't fix.
4: need to fix sleep issues because 6 hours every two days for a week, followed by 14 hours is not how we do
5: need to fix food issues, because of similar.
6: need to fix life, because fucked.

still alive though, and the parts that are good are amazing.

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